[ She doesn't expect him to tell her what has happened. That he does speaks highly of him and Neria listens, refusing to interrupt. This is Cullen's tale to tell, one that is more horrible than she imagined. He does not go into the finer details, nor does she feel it's necessary. She hadn't needed to see the way the demons had torn into his mind, either, to know what could have happened.
The Circles have been upset since the destruction of Kirkwall's Chantry. She'd heard stories and rumors of what had occurred: the Knight-Commander now fossilized in red lyrium, a dead and malformed First Enchanter, bloodshed in the streets, and a single mage having blown the Chantry sky-high.
Her mage, one of her Wardens. Her stomach bottoms out at the thought, but Cullen never confirms his name nor his involvement, and so she keeps silent.
Instead, she reaches for his hand in silence, covering it. This time, he isn't wearing gloves, and she simply holds him there to comfort him as he speaks. At last, Neria lifts her head to look over at him. ]
When you asked me to... I didn't want to. I was being selfish. Irving had been-- He took care of me, taught me everything. I hoped he would be all right. But if something had happened, if he had lost his mind... I would have killed him. I would have done what was necessary.
[ It hadn't been so clear-cut. She had been naive to assume she was taking some moral high ground by refusing what he asked. She squeezes his hand. ]
I wasn't angry with you, Cullen, for what you said. I was only-- It made me sad.
[ That he was hurting. That whatever future they might have had as friends was snuffed out like a candle. She'd wondered if they could have done something about the Circle together, as one of the few mages and Templars who spoke and worked together without fear. Becoming a Warden had changed all of that, to be certain, but she had held out some foolish hope. How could she ever expect him to think highly of mages after what they did to him? ]
I hope... No, I hoped you would change your mind one day. That you would heal from what happened. What they did was awful and inexcusable. I have no words for it. [ Her gaze meets his. ] We can do terrible things with our power but we're scared, too. All of us. We're scared and many of us are hurting.
You don't owe me an apology. I simply want you to be all right. I hope you've been able to heal.
no subject
The Circles have been upset since the destruction of Kirkwall's Chantry. She'd heard stories and rumors of what had occurred: the Knight-Commander now fossilized in red lyrium, a dead and malformed First Enchanter, bloodshed in the streets, and a single mage having blown the Chantry sky-high.
Her mage, one of her Wardens. Her stomach bottoms out at the thought, but Cullen never confirms his name nor his involvement, and so she keeps silent.
Instead, she reaches for his hand in silence, covering it. This time, he isn't wearing gloves, and she simply holds him there to comfort him as he speaks. At last, Neria lifts her head to look over at him. ]
When you asked me to... I didn't want to. I was being selfish. Irving had been-- He took care of me, taught me everything. I hoped he would be all right. But if something had happened, if he had lost his mind... I would have killed him. I would have done what was necessary.
[ It hadn't been so clear-cut. She had been naive to assume she was taking some moral high ground by refusing what he asked. She squeezes his hand. ]
I wasn't angry with you, Cullen, for what you said. I was only-- It made me sad.
[ That he was hurting. That whatever future they might have had as friends was snuffed out like a candle. She'd wondered if they could have done something about the Circle together, as one of the few mages and Templars who spoke and worked together without fear. Becoming a Warden had changed all of that, to be certain, but she had held out some foolish hope. How could she ever expect him to think highly of mages after what they did to him? ]
I hope... No, I hoped you would change your mind one day. That you would heal from what happened. What they did was awful and inexcusable. I have no words for it. [ Her gaze meets his. ] We can do terrible things with our power but we're scared, too. All of us. We're scared and many of us are hurting.
You don't owe me an apology. I simply want you to be all right. I hope you've been able to heal.