She breathed in silence, eyes shut tightly, and said nothing. At length, one hand unwound from her hair and looped fingers with his own. Neria tugged his hand back down so she could simply hold it, her anchor in the moment, something to pull her from her grief.
It took several moments for her to unwind. For her to drop the other hand from her hair and to finally allow herself the space to be safe again, even in the memories that wrapped around her heart and squeezed it too tightly.
Neria did not give voice to the ache that lingered deeper. But Kell would feel it, a whisper of a thought: I miss her.
The loneliness burned deep into her bones, deeper still with the knowledge that if they should all succeed at their trials and come together later, they would be so fractured not only as people but as a unit. As a group. And she could not help but feel all of it had started at the ambush. All of them broken as people from that one day.
She did not blame Kell. In her heart, where she let him wind himself again, there was no trace of fury any longer, no condemnation. But that day in the snow was the first crack that spun into fissure she saw now. She only wanted to fix it, and feared it was too late.
Her fingers threaded with Kell's. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I... My mess isn't what I wanted to linger on." It wasn't fair to him and Neria was tired of dwelling in her own mire. She tipped her head up to look at him. "What's happened since you came home? How are you?"
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It took several moments for her to unwind. For her to drop the other hand from her hair and to finally allow herself the space to be safe again, even in the memories that wrapped around her heart and squeezed it too tightly.
Neria did not give voice to the ache that lingered deeper. But Kell would feel it, a whisper of a thought: I miss her.
The loneliness burned deep into her bones, deeper still with the knowledge that if they should all succeed at their trials and come together later, they would be so fractured not only as people but as a unit. As a group. And she could not help but feel all of it had started at the ambush. All of them broken as people from that one day.
She did not blame Kell. In her heart, where she let him wind himself again, there was no trace of fury any longer, no condemnation. But that day in the snow was the first crack that spun into fissure she saw now. She only wanted to fix it, and feared it was too late.
Her fingers threaded with Kell's. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I... My mess isn't what I wanted to linger on." It wasn't fair to him and Neria was tired of dwelling in her own mire. She tipped her head up to look at him. "What's happened since you came home? How are you?"