She did not answer the question, even as Kell tugged her along. Neria walked willingly, never feeling as if he was taking her somewhere unsafe, or somewhere she would rather not be. She kept her head up as best as she could, even as she felt more and more of her control over herself snapping.
Between them, her thoughts did not reach out. Not until they were past the heavy wooden door of his chamber, where he closed the door behind them, and Neria was faced with the deepest blue of the night sky, the one place she had become so accustomed to being hers.
And it was Kell's.
A small fire flickered at his bidding, called up to cast the chamber in deep shadows all around them. Her gaze traced over the room, mapping it, admiring in silence even as her thoughts seemed to fall apart. She tried vainly to gather up the pieces. Her hand remained in his.
I couldn't hold it together in front of them.
She'd tried her damnedest to remain as unmoving as a leader should be, as a goddess might be, as a hero could be. To remain steadfast. But in the end, everything spooled out through her fingers, and she scrambled to reel it all back in before she lost something else that was precious to her.
And because...I don't know what to do.
There was a duty to fulfill and worlds to keep safe - but Neria had wanted (and still wanted) to fight for him. To stay by his side. To hold fast to Kell because he was one of her life's greatest parts...and to admit that she was powerless and unable to keep him burned bright and painful in her chest. Her hand held fast to his.
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Between them, her thoughts did not reach out. Not until they were past the heavy wooden door of his chamber, where he closed the door behind them, and Neria was faced with the deepest blue of the night sky, the one place she had become so accustomed to being hers.
And it was Kell's.
A small fire flickered at his bidding, called up to cast the chamber in deep shadows all around them. Her gaze traced over the room, mapping it, admiring in silence even as her thoughts seemed to fall apart. She tried vainly to gather up the pieces. Her hand remained in his.
I couldn't hold it together in front of them.
She'd tried her damnedest to remain as unmoving as a leader should be, as a goddess might be, as a hero could be. To remain steadfast. But in the end, everything spooled out through her fingers, and she scrambled to reel it all back in before she lost something else that was precious to her.
And because...I don't know what to do.
There was a duty to fulfill and worlds to keep safe - but Neria had wanted (and still wanted) to fight for him. To stay by his side. To hold fast to Kell because he was one of her life's greatest parts...and to admit that she was powerless and unable to keep him burned bright and painful in her chest. Her hand held fast to his.