unabatedly: <lj user=sways> --> (pic#9677794)
ɴᴇʀɪᴀ sᴜʀᴀɴᴀ ([personal profile] unabatedly) wrote in [community profile] ruinations 2018-10-19 03:27 am (UTC)

Her gaze met his, the quiet around them settling. Neither of them breathed. And then, she reached up with her hand, brushing a few strands back from his face. Neria's smile was small, fragile. Sad.

Voice hushed, she shook her head. "It wasn't." Not for the moment. "I only... It was something I didn't tell you before we parted," she said quietly. "That I was grateful to you. That you brought joy to my life; that you were one of my life's best parts, even for the few months I had you." Here, she paused, realizing her words were still implying that she was leaving, that she would leave - and in the moment, it was not what either of them wanted or needed.

"I need to...to say things instead of keeping them inside. I've tried so hard for so long to simply swallow what I have to say because it never seems the right time--" She looked up at him. "But then it will never be the right time. And I've done it over and over, forgetting how much it hurts when the moment passes. When I know I can never have the things I want because of my own failure." She never told people she loved them until they slipped through her fingers; she never offered her appreciation until she had moved on; she forgot to be genuine with those that mattered, to savor the moments, and she continued to live in the past, in regrets.

It had to stop.

Neria went up on her toes. She pressed her lips to his cheek. "So I want you to know now. That's all. You were my rock today. I needed you. I'm glad you stayed with me."

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